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Lessons from Mother

imgresIn 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. A day to serve Mom breakfast in bed, take her out for lunch, and give her a homemade card, flowers, and jewelry.   My mom wore every scatter pin I gave her on her lapels and dresses. Even the one with a missing rhinestone.

Like most young children, I thought Mom was perfect. And like most teenagers, I sometimes resented her advice. As a young mother, I followed her examples and sought her advice. And some things Mom taught me I still follow, especially at suppertime, although she’s been gone twenty-five years.

I was nine years old when Mom taught me to make cornbread and it was my supper chore. I put a dollop of bacon grease in a black skillet, the one with a broken-off handle and used only for cornbread, and placed the skillet in the oven set at 425ºF. The recipe was simple: two cups Martha White self-rising cornmeal, one beaten egg, and enough buttermilk to make the right consistency. Stir with a wooden spoon until all ingredients were combined. If the batter was too thick, add buttermilk. Too thin, add cornmeal. When the skillet and grease were hot, pour the melted grease into the batter and stir two or three times. Dump the batter into the hot skillet and bake for 20 minutes.

But my job wasn’t finished. Making cornbread included washing the bowl and wooden spoon, and that didn’t mean, swish and rinse. It meant hand washing with detergent, rinsing, drying and putting away the bowl and spoon. That has stuck with me through these many decades. Occasionally, I rinse a cornbread bowl and stick it in the dishwasher and I see Mom’s smile. Her closed mouth grin and tilted head tells me, “You could wash it in a minute.”

When I was young, supper was the meal when Mom, Dad, my brother, and I sat down together. It was eating and visiting time. Mom taught me two tricks: always set the table before calling everyone to supper and always serve hot bread. A set table looks inviting and everyone knows a meal will be served. Oftentimes our table was set with placemats, plates, folded paper napkins, and utensils – a knife, spoon, and fork – by late afternoon. It was a promise of food and an expectation that all would gather and linger.

Even if the meal was leftovers, hot bread and butter whetted our appetites. Most often, it was cornbread or biscuits. But if Mom didn’t want to heat up the house with a hot oven on an August evening, she fried hoecakes in a black skillet. And sometimes, mostly for guests, she served store-bought brown and serve rolls.

Setting the table has stuck with me. Even when only Husband and I sit down together for supper, I like the table set. But, as much as I love hot bread and butter, I hate the added pounds so my mantra is always serve guests, especially my Grands’ families, hot bread. If not, I’m confident the whole meal would flop.

Wash the cornbread batter bowl, set the table, serve hot bread – simple habits ingrained in me. It’s not the once in a lifetime or once a year things we remember when our parents no longer stand beside us, it’s the daily things.

This Mother’s Day hug your mother and tell her thank you for what she does everyday.

 

 

It’s All About the Suntan

imagesBeach towel. Spray bottle filled with water. Transistor radio. Baby oil and iodine. History textbook. Everything I needed to get a perfect tan. Actually, I didn’t need the textbook, but as a college student I carried it along just in case the mood to study struck while I soaked up the sun.

On sunny spring days in the late 1960s, the narrow yard between two dormitories and concealed from Dixie Avenue by a brick wall was filled with Tennessee Tech coeds wearing bathing suits. Like an overcrowded beach during vacation season, we laid towels in rows, side by side, and saved spaces for friends. Some places were like Sunday morning church pews – reserved, but unmarked. Ideally, spring quarter classes were scheduled around sunning time, early morning and late afternoon classes. Midday was for sunbathing.

We didn’t protect our skin from the sun’s rays; instead, our goal was a perfect tan. Who dreamed up the notion that baby oil with a few added drops of iodine made good suntan oil? We smeared oil all over our bodies and lay for hours, or until our next class, baking our skin and we sprayed water on ourselves when we got hot.

The yard wasn’t the only place to sun or lay out, as we said. As a freshman, I lived on the 5th floor, the top floor, of Unit B dormitory, now M. C. Cooper Hall. Jill* lived in a single room across the hall and her room had a small dormer window that opened onto a flat roof over the building’s wide porch. One night Jill, and two other friends, Ada* and Kara*, and I decided to climb onto the roof.

We moved Jill’s desk under the window, removed the screen, and climbed as if we were heaving ourselves out of a deep swimming pool. The stars were close and the air cool. We could see and hear people, but no one knew where we were. We looked across Dixie Avenue, above the treetops, to the eagle atop Derryberry Hall. And then about mid-March, we realized the roof was the perfect place to get a tan and we could wear whatever we wanted. That black roof was closer to the sun and much less crowded than the sunbathing yard.

Only about fifteen girls lived on 5th floor, but we four friends didn’t share our sunning hideaway. We locked Jill’s door so no one, or so we thought, knew about our escapades. We whispered to each other, never played our radios, and even pretended to study. We weren’t scared of the height, but we were scared of getting in trouble. We stayed close to the window and left it open so we could climb inside quickly. Actually, we sunbathed on the rooftop only a few times. That black roof was miserably hot!

Thinking back to those days of sunbathing, my friends and I should have been scared that we were damaging our skin. I’ve had several basal and squamous cell non-melanoma skin cancers removed, most likely a direct result of overexposure to ultraviolet rays. But we had great tans, kept each other’s secrets, and I’m confident we were only four of many, many coeds who ventured out onto dormitory roofs.

During this year of TTU’s Centennial Celebration, it’s been fun to share some of my experiences as a student. Thanks to all who planned and carried out the many events. I hope the current students cherish their memories and appreciate their education as I do.

*Names changed because I promised my friends I would.

Storyfest – Don’t Miss It!

imgresOn a warm spring Saturday two years ago, my Grand and I sat on folding metal chairs and listened under a tent at Dogwood Park during Storyfest. Don Davis, renowned storyteller, stood only a few feet away, on a small wooden stage and reminisced about his school days. As a 6th grade teacher, I’d played cassette tapes to share Mr. Davis’s stories with students and knew I was seeing and hearing the best of the best. My 7-year-old Grand couldn’t appreciate his notoriety; I just hoped she was entertained.

As I drove my Grand home I asked, “So Lou, what did you like about Mr. Davis’s school stories?”

“Was it all true, Gran?” Yes and no. He probably exaggerated a bit.

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

            “But he acted like everything he said was true,” Lou said. Yes, a storyteller is a bit like an actor. Entertaining. Adding details to a story to make it more interesting.

“What’s 40 lashes?” It means being punished. He didn’t really mean he was spanked 40 times.

“So he wasn’t really hurt?” Well, he was probably spanked when he broke a school rule and it hurt. Lou sat quietly looking out the van window for a few minutes, and then asked, “Is it okay to make up a story?” Yes. As long as the person you’re telling your story to knows you made up some of it.

“His stories were funny and crazy!” Lou said.

At the end of Mr. Davis’s storytelling, he challenged the audience to tell children their stories. Simple stories of everyday life. I took that to heart – no doubt because I wish I’d asked my parents and grandparents and brother about their early lives. I wish I’d listened and remembered.

It took a long time for me to realize I don’t have to be a stage worthy storyteller to share. Did I tell you about Granny gathering eggs? Every afternoon when she walked home from the restaurant where she worked as a cook, she stopped at the hen house close the barn to gather eggs. One fall day when my brother Roger was about 8 years old, he watched Granny go into the hen house and he hid behind it. While Granny pulled the bottom of her apron into a pouch and filled it with fresh eggs from the hens’ nests, Roger gathered dried sweet gum balls from the ground. When Granny stepped out of the hen house, Roger snuck up behind her and stuck her bottom with those prickly sweet gum balls. Granny screamed and jumped and all the eggs fell and broke and splattered on the ground.

When my brother told me this story about ten years ago, we both laughed until tears ran down our faces. Roger flailed his arms high above his head and I could see Granny, wearing a cotton shirtwaist dress with a white restaurant apron tied around her waist, dropping the apron and the eggs breaking.

Two of my favorite storytellers, Jo Covington and Connie Lillard, aka The Bear Creek Storytellers, could take Granny’s egg gathering story and entertain an audience for thirty minutes. Jo and Connie share Jack Tales and children’s stories, and every time I hear them I laugh. Their words strike my heart and my Grands will love hearing them. How I love hearing good storytellers!

You don’t want to miss Jo and Connie and others at Storyfest, Saturday, April 23rd at Dogwood Park, 9:30-5:30. A day of fun and free entertainment. Bring your lunch and stay awhile.

Everything You Want to Know about Emojis

Screen Shot 2016-04-13 at 5.00.59 PMMany text messages I receive include emojis and almost every time they make me smile. Did the inventor of those digital images or icons create them just for amusement? Why are those pictures called emojis? Can anyone create one?

According to the online Oxford dictionary, emoji, is a Japanese word and ‘e’ refers to picture and ‘moji’ means letter or character. In the late 1990’s, Shigetaka Kurita who worked for a large Japanese mobile communication company invented emojis because he wanted a way to messages and pictures using limited data. Much like my generation used shorthand, emojis were created as a way to send messages in an abbreviated format. Kurita’s idea was simple; one character or image communicated what required several words and more data on electronic devices.

Emojis quickly became a widespread success in Japan. In just one month, Kurita came up with the world’s first 180 images. He first looked at people’s expressions and created faces, including several smiley faces, and he expanded faces, such as adding a drop of water to symbolize nervousness and a light bulb over a head to show ‘flash of an idea.’

Kurita also turned to pictograms, designs displayed to give the public information. He’d served as chair of a committee to make signs for the 1964 Olympics, and those pictograms created for Olympic sports at that time are still used. In addition, pictures indicated directions, restroom facilities, restaurants, emergency exits, and no smoking areas. Faces and pictograms comprised the original palette of emoji choices and have been widely used in Japan since 2000.

Soon iPhones, Androids, and major operating systems displayed emojis and the choices grew by leaps and bounds. Anyone can submit an idea to the Unicode Consortium, a group of volunteers, most from tech firms, who votes on proposed symbols. This non-profit group strives to standardize digital text that can be used with different computer software in hundreds of different languages.

Unicode has released 1,624 emojis, with many more options such as skin tone of a screaming woman. Original emjois are brought to life after thousand-word proposals and multiple voting sessions by the Unicode volunteers. About 200 new images were released last year.

Oxford dictionary’s word of the year for 2015 wasn’t a word. A picture – an emoji. Officially, it’s named Face with Tears of Joy. Laugh until you cry. A bright yellow smiling face with tears. The Oxford website states that it was chosen because it reflects the ethos, mood, and preoccupations of the year.

You either love or hate these digital images. I’m in the love camp. When Daughter sent a text with a picture of one of my Grands covered lines made by a green permanent marker, and Daughter’s only comments were a Wide-eyed Face and a Face with Tears of Joy, I knew Daughter restrained her anger and saw the humor her child’s mess. When I agree with the restaurant Husband suggests, a simple thumb up tells him I like his idea. A happy birthday message to Grands (on their parents’ phones) includes a birthday cake and sparklers.

Emojis aren’t going away and I’m glad. But if you disapprove or are skeptical of using these images, one will be released soon just for you: A Face with One Eyebrow Raised.

Smiley Faces and Emojis

Screen Shot 2016-04-07 at 5.06.15 PM           A smiling face is happy. A frown is sad. Well, not always. In the world of emojis, there are dozens of faces and depending on the eyes, a water droplet, or a tongue, a smile can take on different meanings.

What’s an emoji? (ēˈmōjē)   If you’re asking, you probably don’t use a smart phone or online conversation. Or maybe you hate and ignore those little pictures people use in text messages. Or you’ve seen those little pictures and didn’t know they had a name. An emoji is simply a small digital image or icon used to express an idea or emotion in an electronic communication. Certainly not everyone who communicates by email and texting and social networking uses such icons.

Is the idea for emojis really new? A yellow circle face is one of the most poplar emojis and a double first cousin to a smiley face. And haven’t smiley faces been around forever? As a teacher, I drew a circle with a big curved smile and two dots for eyes beside A and B grades on many students’ papers. Sometimes, I’d circle the dotted eyes to draw glasses and add wisps of hair. And if I wished the grade had been higher, I drew a straight-line, curved down mouth for sadness.

According to Smithsonian.com, in 1963 Harvey Ball, an American graphic artist and ad man, was commissioned to create a graphic to raise morale among the employees of an insurance company. Ball was paid $45 for his work that took less than 10 minutes. The State Mutual Life Assurance Company made posters, buttons, and signs to encourage their employees to smile more. There’s no record if that worked, but the company recognized that the logo was a hit and produced millions of buttons. Neither Ball nor the insurance company attempted to copyright the design.

In the early 1970s in Philadelphia, two brothers who owned Hallmark card shops added the slogan “Have a Happy Day” to a smiley face and produced copyrighted novelty items. Within one year, over 50 million happy day smiley face buttons and other products had been sold.

Worldwide, smiling faces have been used by many businesses, even a French newspaper to highlight positive news. And thru the years, there have been trademark and copyright disagreements, ending in lawsuits and multi-million dollar settlements. One argument is that a circle with a simple curved one-line mouth is so basic that it can’t be credited to anyone. And it’s been claimed that the world’s first smiley face dates back to 2500 BC on a stone carving found in a French cave.

Many of us can probably find a smiley face button stuck in the back of a kitchen drawer or at the bottom of a sock drawer. Those bright yellow metal buttons that have one long stickpin to wear on lapels. Those buttons that we gave to each other to say ‘Have a good day!’ Buttons we wore to let the world know we were happy.

That simple face with a curved line smile and two dots for eyes was transformed into many variations and has appeared on posters and pillows and art. And when emojis came along, smiley faces learned to scream and whisper and cry and vent and wink and love and kiss and laugh.  And along side those round faces are thousands of other emojis.

So who created emojis? Why? I intend to research just a bit and I’ll let you know.

Walk to Ralph’s

Screen Shot 2016-03-31 at 8.35.25 AMIt’s about a mile from Tennessee Tech to Ralph’s Do-nut Shop. Close enough to tempt students – especially those of us who lived in the dorms. It seemed that donut cravings hit strongest late at night.

When I was a Tech coed, my friends and I sat memorizing history dates, late-night-before-the-test cramming, and the more numbers that swirled through my brain, the more I craved sugar. Sugar mixed with flour and eggs and milk and butter, and then fried in hot oil. Finished off with a sugar glaze. One mention of donuts and we all closed our thick textbooks, tossed our notes aside, and united in a plan: To Ralph’s!

We threw on our long Villager raincoats, or off-brand copycats, over whatever we wore. Pajamas or t-shirts and shorts, or sweat pants – no need to really get dressed. And we put a few coins in our pockets and headed out the dorm’s front doors to the railroad tracks. Yes, to the railroad tracks that led almost straight to Ralph’s.

Someone might have carried a flashlight, but most often not. The moon, stars, and streetlights provided enough brightness to illuminate the metal rails. We walked on the wooden crossties, careful to avoid tripping on uneven beams or slipping on the muddy ground between. It was a short walk, less than fifteen minutes, and then one block south at the train depot, right down Cedar Street.

We could pool our money for a dozen plain glazed donuts for 60 cents or splurge on individual choices. For less than a quarter, I chose a chocolate covered, creamed-filled donut. My friends and I took over one u-shaped countertop. Drinking chocolate milk and our favorite late night treats, we completely ignored the fact that at 8:00 the next morning we’d face a history exam.

The walk back along the railroad tracks took longer than going. That’s when we’d talk and giggle and share secrets that can be told in the dark when you can’t see anyone’s expression. We’d stop to marvel at the stars, locate the Big Dipper and try to identify at least one other constellation. We’d look for the North Star and wish for falling stars and meteors.

Recently, I told my 7 year-old Grand about walking the railroad tracks to Ralph’s. “Why didn’t you drive?” she asked. No one, except June, had a car and it was fun to walk. “That wasn’t safe!” I never saw or heard a train when we walked and we could jump off if a train came our way. And we traveled in groups – never alone. Things were different 50 years ago. “Did your mother know you were walking on railroad tracks?” No. “Was it really late?” Yes.

“Did the donuts taste the same?” Yes. When my college girlfriends spent the night with me recently, the donut cravings hit about 10 p.m. Thankfully, not many people were in Ralph’s and heard six women giggling and arguing about which donuts were the best. Coconut cake. Apple fritters. Chocolate covered creamed filled. Twists. We each chose our favorite, a carton of milk, and sat at the same u-shaped counter.

We agreed on a few things. The donuts tasted just as good as we remembered. We were glad we didn’t have to walk home on the railroad tracks and we didn’t have to study for tests. And those late night adventures to Ralph’s helped cement our friendship.

Thank You, Playground Leaders!

Screen Shot 2016-03-24 at 7.37.21 AMBy now, everyone in Cookeville knows the Heart of the City Playground officially opened this month. But my Grands and many other children have run, climbed, jumped, and swung since December. Cookeville’s 12,000 square foot playground is unique in design and is accessible for all children – those who run on two legs and those who roll a wheelchair.

As I watched and listened during the Sunday afternoon Grand Opening ceremony, I felt a huge sense of pride. And not just for the playground. I’m most proud of the mothers who led this effort. The mothers of babies and toddlers and middle school age children. The mothers had said to each other that they wished for a place to get together with their children. A convenient place where their children could play safely and they could visit with each other. A place where all children could play.

One of these mothers invited me to a playground organizational meeting at city hall almost two years ago. I was the only gray haired person there – all others were young enough to be my children and younger. The meeting was chaotic and the enthusiasm on fire. I left knowing that these young parents would build a playground no matter what and that I’d met the future of Cookeville. During the past two years, I crossed paths with a few of these leaders.

Having no fundraising experience didn’t stop Elizabeth from volunteering to be in charge of raising almost $500,000. She and her committee hosted many events, everything from a gala where guests wore black ties and tiaras to Touch-a-Truck where children climbed on tractors and fire engines. They went to businesses and wrote letters and made phone calls to secure sponsors. And Elizabeth hugged and thanked a kid who gave $10, as if that was all the money needed.

Virginia captained the Design and Special Features committee. She and her committee made sure all the special Cookeville designs were authentic. Derryberry Hall, the Depot, Burgess Falls, and more. She moved those cut out pieces from under a tent during rain to a church basement or to anywhere she could find to keep the designs dry during the week long rainy build week. Virginia was the paint lady and she ensured that every board and screw top and bird and waterfall were painted the right color.

Ashley and Kelly, with smiles and encouragement and hard work, spearheaded as general coordinators. They complemented each other with their divided tasks. They led by example and never missed a chance to give credit to others. To Laura who organized 2,000 build volunteers and Alejandra who chaired a committee to babysit for the build volunteers’ children. Hannah made sure water, snacks, and meals were provided for workers. Ashley and Kelly sent an email to invite all volunteers to the Grand Opening. The invitation began with “YOU ALL SHOULD BE SO PROUD! WE DID IT! A lot of sweat, tears (and some blood!)… but it’s finished and you had a part in leaving a LEGACY for the children of this community for years to come!”

 

I marvel at the energy of these young mothers. Their dedication. Their perseverance. Their determination. As I watched them work together, I realized that Cookeville is in good hands. My generation appreciates this younger generation.

Congratulations to Ashley and Kelly and all the committee captains. I hope you talk and laugh together often as you watch your children play at the Heart of the City Playground.

5 Best Toys of All Time

Screen Shot 2016-03-17 at 9.29.59 AMIt’s birthday season around our house. Since all eight Grands were springtime babies, I’m shopping – almost like Christmas. Legos, paint sets, American Girl clothes, riding toys, super hero figures, play dough. Gifts for Grands from ages 1to 11. And I know what would really ignite their creativity and they love to play with, but can you imagine a child’s response after tearing open a birthday present and finding sticks?

This column is inspired by an article on wired.com and written by a self-professed geek dad, Jonathan H. Liu. He wrote that he worked hard to narrow down a long list to five items that no kid should be without. A list that fits everyone’s budget and appropriate for all ages. Time-tested and kid-approved. I’d add parent and grandparent-approved. Liu’s choices of 5 Best Toys of All Time are a stick, a box, string, a cardboard tube, and dirt.

I amend his list to include a stick, a box, dirt, water, and a balloon.

  1. Stick. All sizes. I rode one as a horse that went as fast as I could run and I never fell off.  A stick is a giant pencil to write in mud and sand. It lifts leaves from a running creek. And, even though parents prohibit violence, a stick is a sword and a club and a rifle. There’s something about hitting a large tree trunk or big rock with a stick that makes you feel good.
  2. Box. Who hasn’t created a clubhouse from an appliance box? Shoeboxes with doors cut in the ends are train tunnels and garages. Decorated boxes create a neighborhood – stores, homes, and businesses.
  3. Dirt. I’ve written about my Grands’ dirt pile. The one that’s a climb-to-the-top-of-the-mountain and a track for toy racecars and bicycles. A place to dig. When one Grand was five years old, she screamed, “Mama, Lucy’s in my dirt!” Her dirt, where she was digging a hole to pour water, another best gift. Hide a few treasures, shiny trinkets or seashells or colorful rocks, and watch a kid dig. And then there’s pretend food. During my childhood, I patted enough mud pies to feed the multitudes.
  4. Water. A creek. A swimming pool. A bucket of water. Kids like water. How many have been entertained all afternoon with a pail full of water and an old paintbrush? Paint a concrete driveway and watch it dry, and then paint it again. A bucket or sink full of water, a funnel, pouring pitchers, and empty bowls – all a toddler needs to be happy.
  5. Balloon. “Blow it up, Gran! Let’s play balloons!” my four-year-old Grand said to me. Hide the balloon. Take turns hitting it to keep it up in the air. Try to toss it like a ball. Sit on it, but don’t burst it. Make it stick to the wall. Punch it, but not Gran who is holding it. Blow up another and let it swish thru the air. Blow it up, tie a knot, prick it with a pin.

So eight birthdays and eight boxes filled with sticks, balloons, and two zip lock bags: one filled with dirt, the other with water. My shopping is finished.

But I won’t because my Grands have sticks, boxes, dirt, water, and balloons and they play with them daily. That’s how I know these are the 5 Best Toys of All Time – at least for my Grands.

Grand Monday Morning

Screen Shot 2016-03-12 at 8.12.19 AM

Monday mornings: time to tackle chores. Washing. Paying bills. But not at my house. Monday mornings with Jesse, my twenty-one month old Grand, is on my agenda. I invite him to visit and pretend that it’s to help, Daughter, his mom.

When I walk through the back door of Jesse’s house Daughter says, “Jesse, Gran’s here!” His running feet slap the hardwood floor and his arms are spread wide. I lift him into my arms. He lays his head on my shoulder and wraps around me. That loving could carry me through the week. My Grand waves and says, “Bye, bye” to his mom and siblings.

In our playroom, Jesse immediately pulls two plastic buckets filled with small cars off a shelf. He squats, his bottom almost touching the floor. (How I wish I could sit like that!) He surrounds himself with at least twenty-five cars – in no order, but each set with wheels on the floor and not touching another. One car plays music, for only five seconds. He pushes the music button, stands, takes two steps, and the music stops. He turns, takes a step, squats, pushes the music button, takes a step, the music stops. He turns – and because I have nothing better to do than count how many times my Grand does this – after the 7th time, he turns, looks at the quiet car, tilts his head, and drags a a box of wooden blocks out of the closet.

Jesse is in the empty-it stage. One by one, he lifts the blocks out of the box. I stack a few on top of each other and he swings his fist to knock them down and giggles. A few more stacks and giggles, and I sing a silly made-up song about picking up blocks and we fill the block box. Thankfully, he likes to put things in as well as take them out.

What is it about toddlers and running in a circle? Jesse pushes a toy-shopping cart from the playroom, through the den and bathroom, and back to the playroom. I sit in the playroom and act surprised when I see him. “Where’s Jesse?” I call. “There you are!” My Grand stops and laughs and then he runs again trampling over the cars on the floor.

I sing another silly song, “Pick up cars, one by one,” and I put cars in a storage bucket. Jesse frowns and stiffens his arm to hold his open flat hand toward me. He sets every car on the floor and then runs the circle again and again, stopping only to straighten the cars that he turns over.

Jesse wiggles into our kid size rocking chair. He rocks and laughs. Then he stops, walks across the room, and pushes a button that plays music on a blue elephant toy.   He sits in the rocker and rocks until the music stops. He walks across the room, pushes the button, rocks – over and over. I didn’t count how many times he did this. I laughed and he did too.

For two hours, Husband and I play with our Grand. He happily puts away toys – all except the cars. I put one in the bucket; he takes it out. Those cars stay parked on the floor.

“Tell Gran thank you for inviting you to play,” Daughter says when I take Jesse home. He tucks his head against my shoulder and brushes his face across my cheek, a toddler kiss.   I love Monday mornings, there’s no better way to begin a week than playing with a Grand.

 

 

 

 

Unusual Customer Service

Screen Shot 2016-03-02 at 8.19.56 PMLast week after writing about good customer service, I was reminded of two unusual shopping experiences.

In a boutique, I laid a gift certificate, valued at $4.50, and $20 on the counter to pay for a necklace that cost $20.00. The sales clerk scanned the neckace and then said, “With tax, that’ll be $21.90.” I asked her to use the gift certificate and take the rest out of the cash.

The clerk held the money and gift certificate in her hands and pulled her eyebrows down. She moved her head from side to side. I fought my teacher instinct and didn’t say that since I gave her $24.50 that I’d get $2.60 in change. She smiled, picked up a pen, wrote on the gift certificate and then said, “Now you’ve got $9.00 on your gift card and here’s you change.” She laid $1.90 on the counter.

It was my turn to frown. I was surprised that the clerk doubled the amount on my gift card and gave me the differnce between the total amount of the necklace and $20.00. “I think I used all that gift certificate. You can keep it,” I said. Because my attempt to explain the transaction was futile, I decided not to quibble over seventy cents and I put the $1.90 in my pocket.

The clerk tilted her head, obviously confused. I suggested she keep the certificate and explain the transaction to the owner and if she was correct, they could call me. I never heard from the owner and the next time I shopped in her store, I learned the confused clerk no longer worked there.

I laugh until I cry every time Patsy tells about buying one item in a wholesale club, the kind where I easily spend $200. Patsy carried a five-pound package of ground beef in her hands and noted that at least two customers, with overflowing carts, stood in all the check out lines. But there were no customers in one lane. Patsy laid the ground beef and her wholesale club card beside the cash register.

The clerk brusquely said, “This lane is for flat bed carts only.” Patsy frowned and cocked her head. The clerk explained, “For customers with a flat bed cart. You have to go through regular check out.”

Patsy picked up the package of meat and as she turned toward other check out lanes, she saw an empty flat bed cart. She lay the meat on the cart and pushed it toward the check out lane where she’d just been refused service. Facing the clerk, Patsy said, “You wanted a flat bed cart so here it is.” She picked up the package of meat and lay it on the counter.

The clerk pulled her lips into a tight straight line and her eyes opened wide. I think she knew she’d met her match. She scanned the package. Patsy paid and thanked the clerk for her service.

When I asked Patsy to tell this story for the upteenth time, she admitted that as she put her hands on the cart handle she thought it probably wasn’t the thing to do, but she’d made eye contact with other customers who’d shook their heads when they heard the clerk’s remarks so Patsy carried through. Those customers smiled and laughed as Patsy paid. If only the clerk had spoken in a kind voice, my friend would have stood in line for 10 minutes.

Shopping can be more than spending money and buying goods. Sometimes it’s entertaining – when you keep your sense of humor.