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Old Person Bingo

BINGO!  It’s easy to cover the Bingo squares under O.  Concerned about fiber. Living room furniture all matches. Excited about Farmers Markets.  Have a kid older than 10.  Increased the font size on your phone. 

            This is a unique Bingo card that doesn’t have numbers; it has phrases. I only have one card which is really a birthday card that I’ve kept beside my writing calendar since July.  Every time I glance at it, I smile.  OLD PERSON BINGO (yes, in all caps) is written at the top on the front.

            If you have Medicare or receive Social Security, you could easily win prizes playing OLD PERSON BINGO, but younger people probably won’t like the game.  Look at the five spaces I covered under O.  Why would anyone not have matching living room furniture? My matching red wing-back chairs are perfect, and the fiber I’m concerned about has nothing to do with the fiber content covering those two chairs.

            Doesn’t everyone increase the font size on mobile phones?  (As I wrote mobile phone, I laughed at myself.  Only an old person who has a land line phone would write mobile.)   Have a kid over 10?  How about five Grands over 10!  And if you’ve ever read columns I’ve written during peak summer harvest season, you know I’m excited about our local Farmers Market.  

            Playing OLD PERSON BINGO, I can win across rows, down columns, and diagonally and I bet many of you could, too.  Wear clothing with additional support.  Does that include those elastic tummy control panels?  Can’t find your keys.  Found grey hairs.  Why do some things disappear and others glare?

            Think dinner at 4 PM sounds pretty good. Think 11 PM is late.  I can’t cover the dinner at 4 space, but everyone knows when both clock hands near 12, it’s late.  (Another old person thinking; I thought of an analog clock, not a digital one.)

            Enjoy jazz.  Don’t recognize any popular music.  Not only do I not recognize popular music, I can’t understand the words.

            Still uses Facebook.  Fan of historical dramas.  Get annoyed about remake of movies.  Worried about the economy.  Have considered moving to Florida. Have a 401K.  Feel stiff for no reason.  Have your own garden.  How many of those spaces can you cover?

            Have said the phrase, “Kids these days…”  Have said, “Ooh, a cheese plate!” in a restaurant.  Oh, the things I’ve said and wished I hadn’t. 

            Maybe my friends and I can create more OLD PERSON BINGO cards and add more phrases.  Doctors are listed among contact favorites.  Ate TV dinners on a metal tray. An exciting evening is watching basketball games on TV.  Do banking in person.  Pay bills by check.  Look forward to mail delivery. Wore plastic bread bags as boots to play in snow. Rereads birthday cards.             Playing OLD PERSON BINGO will be fun and prizes won’t be needed.  Laughing and being with like-minded friends – those are real prizes.


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