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Happy Heart Tugs Needed

In early 2020, I wrote on my calendar that today’s topic would be Heart Tugs. I’ve written other columns about happy times when heartstrings tighten. Times to imprint in my head and heart to relive and cherish.   

            During 2020, I haven’t followed through on my intention of writing quarterly Heart Tugs.  Other topics took precedence this summer and fall.  And now, I wrestle with sharing moments that paint pictures of happiness and well-being when so many people struggle from all that 2020 has thrown at us. 

            While it’s good to celebrate the joyful moments, I can’t put sadness and sorrow aside. All emotions kindle Heart Tugs:  some happy, some comforting, some painful.

            Many celebrated Christmas while still grieving the death of someone they love.  Many lost their homes in the March tornado. Many can’t hug parents and grandparents who are in retirement homes or hospitals.  Many families didn’t celebrate Christmas in traditional ways.

            In June, as Husband’s mother’s casket and vault were lowered into her grave, her family stood close by.  Three of her great-grandchildren, all younger than 6 and wearing masks, stood within inches of the grave and watched as shovelfuls of dirt were thrown. At age 92, Grandmother lived a long life with little illness. Her greatest treasures were her twelve great-grands who knew exactly where she kept candy for them.

            Thankfully, technology has connected friends and families.  Six college girlfriends and I didn’t make our planned annual trip, but we visit often using Zoom.  A friend and her siblings and their children and grandchildren reminisced and laughed together even though all were in their own homes and miles apart. 

            Using Facetime, Husband and I watched our Grands, who live an airplane ride away, open Christmas gifts we had shipped to them.  They wrapped new blankets around their shoulders and the two boys, ages 7 and 9, plopped onto the floor and looked at their new books.  Our five-year-old Grand said repeatedly, “I want to tell you something.”  She described every something in detail.

            During this pandemic, one of the few places our local Grands can go is to Husband’s and my house.  So last week, our 15-year-old Grand came with his four younger siblings to decorate sugar cookies.  He slathered colored icing and poured sprinkles with fake enthusiasm.  When Husband stood beside him and spread green icing on a baked Christmas tree, our Grand’s attitude changed. 

            Two hours later, these five Grands boxed up their decorated cookies to go home, and I declared this the best cookie decorating ever.  My six-foot teenage Grand said, “Yeah, Gran, that was really fun.”  A minute later, he asked, “Gran, are you crying?”

             On cold winter days while I walk outside for exercise, I’ll be warm wearing the scarf my 13-year-old Grand knitted for my Christmas present.  My nine-year-old Grand reached her arms high, hugged me tightly, and whispered, “I love you so much, Gran.” 

            Heart Tugs. I’m catching all the happy ones I can – to balance the sad ones.

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