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Wedding Anniversary Reflections

searchAfter all these years, I still love him. Husband and I recently celebrated our wedding anniversary. Forty-seven years of marital bliss. Well, mostly bliss – there have been times when joy and happiness were pushed aside, just like in all relationships. Marriages, friendships, business partnerships – all suffer trials and disagreements. But during the past 47 years Husband has been my best friend, my constant companion, and my number one cheerleader. I’m thankful he’s mine.

            We’ve raised two children, moved six times, buried parents, welcomed eight grandchildren, built one house, signed three home mortgages and a few business loans, travelled to foreign countries, straddled the Continental Divide, flown around Denali, wiped each other’s brow, celebrated birthdays and job promotions and retirements.

Now, I realize that in three years we’ll celebrate a golden anniversary. Fifty years! And my first thought is that old people are married for fifty years, and we’re not old.  We’ve all heard and read advice for long marriages. Never go to bed angry. Keep a sense of humor. Communicate. Admit when you’re wrong. Agree to disagree. Continue to date. Overlook mistakes. Cultivate the same interests. Have the same basic values – religion and morals. It’s impossible to always uphold these.

Many sleepless nights I’ve a replayed a conversation when I wished I’d said something or wished I’d kept my mouth shut and I’m still angry. There are times I find something funny and he doesn’t. I laughed when Husband was frustrated because we dropped a wooden paddle into the water from a pontoon boat and he couldn’t get the boat close enough to pick it up. I didn’t think it was funny when I spilled pickle juice on my just mopped kitchen floor. Our senses of humor don’t always match.

Communicate. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. Sometimes with words. Sometimes silently. I don’t tell Husband all my secrets. I don’t always tell him when I’m frustrated about something and then I’ve spoken harshly to him for no good reason. I do tell him joys and my day’s schedule.

Every marriage, every relationship, is different. Yes, basic values and common interests and communicating build strong marriages.   But isn’t commitment the backbone of a long-lasting relationship? The commitment when we said, “I do.” The devotion we promised no matter the circumstances: rich, poor, better, worse, sick, healthy. A vow to love and cherish.

I’ll never forget what a minister said after a couple had made these promises. “Turn and face your family and friends,” he told the bride and groom. “Now, you have just promised, in front of all these people who love you, to stay together forever. Don’t break that promise to each other or them or God. No matter what happens, stay together.” I reached for Husband’s hand – the one I’d pledged to stay with forever.

Marriage ceremonies often end with a kiss. The first kiss as a married couple. I believe in hugging and kissing. When our children were young teenagers, Husband and I wrapped our arms around each other one night after supper and kissed, as we often did, and they closed their eyes and turned their heads. I laughed and said, “Aren’t you glad your parents love each other?”

And we always will. Even though we don’t follow all the advice of a long marriage. We promised. And besides, there’s no one I’d rather grow old with than Husband. We have a few more mountains to climb.

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One Response

  1. Happy tears and love for our sweet friends…love you both!

    Kat Rust Bobkats@frontiernet.net

    >

    Like

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