Susan Writes

 Lou, age 8, spent the night with Husband and me, and the next morning she and I sat at the kitchen table eating breakfast. We had talked about her plans for the day, and then she asked, “What are you going to do today, Gran?”

“Write the first draft of next week’s column, but I’m not sure what I’ll write about. I hate that. I have some ideas, but none that I’m excited to write,” I said.

Lou immediately held her hands wide apart and said, “Write about the big rubber ducky!” I laughed. My older Grands, ages 6, 8, and 10, have teased me about a rubber duck I bought for all my Grands to play with when they take a bath at my house.

“Oh, Lou, I don’t think there’s enough about the rubber ducky for a column. What would I write?” And then my Gran began talking and told me to get paper and write it down. So here’s the big rubber ducky story from Lou’s point of view.

“Well, Gran,” Lou said, “You came to our house and said that you just bought two rubber duckies. One big. One small. And you held your hands two feet apart.” She held her hands far apart. “And I said, ‘That’s one big duck!’ And you nodded your head.”

“Then a couple of days later Ruth (her six-year-old sister) and I came to spend the night and it was time to take a bath and I asked, ‘Where’s the B I G rubber ducky?’ and you got that little old ducky out from under the sink.” My Grand giggled, and I held my hand up for her to stop talking so I could write.

Lou looked out the kitchen window and said, “Gran, does all of this have to be true?” I tried to explain poetic license.

After a silent minute, Lou continued, “Okay, so Ruth said, ‘You call that big! That’s the smallest duck ever.’ And I said, ‘To my calculations that isn’t anything close to two feet long!’ Write it just like that Gran.”

Lou held her hands far apart and then slowly moved them together until they almost touched. As her hands moved her eyes widened. I asked, “Lou, are you sure you said that?”

“Well, probably. Cause it’s true.” My Grand grinned, ducked her head, and giggled. “Gran, will you write it like that? You told us it was two feet long and it’s just a normal old rubber ducky.”

Let me explain. I think I held my hands about a body width apart when I said that I’d bought two rubber ducks. My Grands assumed I was showing them the big ducky’s size when I was simply gesturing as if giving a gift. The big rubber duck is only six inches long. The little one, four inches.

After Lou’s and Ruth’s visit when they first saw the ducks, they told their family the actual sizes. So the next time David, age 10, visited, he went straight to the bathroom. “I want to see that rubber duck that’s so big it barely fits in the bathtub,” my Grand said. He held it in his hands. “Gran, you really think this is two feet long?” He shook his head and grinned.

My Grands are having fun teasing me. I just hope they never find a two-foot rubber ducky for sale. It wont’ fit under my bathroom sink.

And thank you, Lou, for writing this column.

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Filed under: Grandchildren, Kids Say Funny Things | Tagged: rubber duck, rubber ducky |