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Old Time Sayings

Screen Shot 2015-06-04 at 8.26.44 AMMy lands alive! A firestorm of old expressions has filled my Facebook page. A couple of weeks ago in this column I wrote, “The very idea of paying good money ($125) to bring a rabbit across country on an airplane. Well, that beats all, as Granny used to say.” And then I posted on Facebook, “What are the sayings, the phrases, which your grandparents said and we no longer say?”

I pon my honor, it’s our responsibility to carry on our heritage, and that includes language for goodness sakes! My friends have shared more sayings than I can shake a stick at and I’m mighty proud to pass them on.

We all know of a man who’s tough as nails and Johnny on the spot. And when he married, he jumped the broom with his sweetheart. They made their home down the holler aways. Way back in the boonies. And if you took the long way to their house, you went around John Brown’s barn and back.

This young couple is probably as happy as a coon in a roasting ear patch. But the wife might be a bit scared – as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof ‘cause she’d ain’t never lived in timbuktu with all the varmints. Sakes, alive! She ought to be happy. Their house is finer than frog hair and her husband, as honest as the day is long. Dontcha’ know he’s a right smart man. After all, he didn’t just roll off the turnip truck. Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise this young couple will have a houseful of youngens. Maybe a towhead or two.

And we all probably know someone who doesn’t do diddley squat. His house is leaning toward Hodges and he got his haywagon catty wompomus in the barn. He can’t fix nothing right. He finagles his way out of problems. They say his daddy was the same way. You know the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Yep, yep, I’m satisfied that’s right.

When he was a boy and cried over spilled milk, his momma said, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” And when his momma had put up with his antics all day and had a snootful of him, she’d spank him and say, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Flitter, we know that’s not true.  Poor little guy, he was always wishing for things and his momma told him, “If a bullfrog had wings, it wouldn’t bump its butt.” And if he ever said he couldn’t do something, his momma said, “Can’t never could.”

And we’ve all seen women who disagree over something that don’t amount to a hill of beans. They talk out both sides of their mouths or out their elbows. Mercy me! That’s when I’m glad I don’t have a dog in that fight. I’m like the little boy who fell out of the wagon, I ain’t in it. Whatever floats their boats or blows their dresses up is fine with me. I declare to my time some people will fuss till’ the cows come home.

Thank you, friends, for reminding me of many expressions that I pert near forgot. Such is life, for goodness sakes. And I learned a saying I’ve never heard before: I wish I may never, since here I’ve been. Say what?












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