Susan Writes

If I have lipstick on my teeth, please tell me.  If my sweater isn’t buttoned correctly or my tee shirt is wrong side out, I want to know.  One day last week while shopping and running errands around town, I greeted and talked with more than a dozen people, and then a friend pointed her finger toward her own teeth and simply said, “Lipstick.”  And often, I’ve quickly fastened just a couple of buttons on a cardigan sweater and walked out the door.  Never realizing that I look lopsided.

On my daughter’s wedding day, the florist called early that morning, before I was fully awake, and said that he couldn’t get in the church to decorate.  So I quickly jerked on the shorts and tee shirt I’d worn the day before.  A quick trip to church, unlock the door and come home, I thought.  But then, my cell phone rang as I turned the key in the church door, and the caterer asked that I come by her kitchen to discuss a last minute menu change.  And on the way home, I remembered that we needed a bag of ice so I stopped at the grocery.  When I arrived home, my son said, “Hey, Mom, do you know that your shirt is on backwards and wrong side out?”  There, right below my chin, a white tag hung on my dark green tee shirt.  Hopefully, that was my only fashion faux pas as mother of the bride.

I take comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one who pulls such stunts.  A teacher friend once wore one black shoe and one brown shoe to school.  No one in her family noticed before she left home, but the keen eye of a seven-year-old immediately spotted his teacher’s unusual attire.  The shoes were similar style, but different heel heights, which annoyed my friend all day and explained why she’d stumbled as she walked down the hallway.

A minister preached his first sermon, a trial sermon, wearing a brand new suit.  His delivery was perfect.  He raised his arms in praise, and he talked with his hands.  After shaking hands with every church member in attendance that Sunday morning, he took off his coat and saw the white manufacturer’s tag attached to his coat sleeve.  He was hired, anyway.

Today’s more casual fashions have wiped out some possible clothing mishaps.  Because we women often wear pants, we seldom hear the words, “You’re slipping,” code words for ‘Your slip is showing.’  But then ‘slipping’ probably doesn’t matter, because the undergarments my mother taught me shouldn’t show are now part of an outfit.  But I do have to remember to zip up my pants.

Lipstick on teeth.  Tee shirts backwards and wrong side out.  Unmatched shoes.  Tags dangling from clothes.  All mishaps.  I like the advice that I first heard from Mother.  If someone can fix something, tell her.  I truly don’t intend to have red polka-dotted teeth.  Just tell me, please.

Filed under: Clothes, Everyday Life | Tagged: clothing mishaps, lipstick |