Susan Writes

In last week’s column I wrote about taking my van to be serviced and the tires rotated. I was told that the tires couldn’t be rotated because the wheels had swollen lug nuts.  The service technician explained that if the lug nuts were taken off, they probably wouldn’t go back on.  New lug nuts were needed. 

            I’ve never studied the workings of motor vehicles, but I knew lug nuts are made of metal and fasten the wheels on my van.  How could metal swell?

            When I repeated the service tech’s explanation to Husband, he grinned and raised his eyebrows and thought I’d misunderstood the problem.   

             I posted last week’s column on Facebook and it turns out Husband and I weren’t the only ones bumfuzzled by swollen lug nuts.  Friends wrote, “Well, I never!” and “I’d think they (the service department employees) were taking advantage of me,” and “That’s a first for me!”       

            One wrote, “Maybe because we’re a medical family, it sounds more like a physical diagnosis!” 

“That’s hilarious!  Never hear of them,” another said.

Laughter was the immediate response when Husband and I told the story to friends, except one who thought he knew all about cars and declared that lug nuts are made of steel and one-piece and can’t swell and never need replacing.  He was sure I was being hoodwinked. I was happy to share what Husband and I had learned.

In the 1980s some vehicle manufacturesswitched from one to two-piece lug nuts.  According to online experts, two-piece wheel nuts, a chrome decorative cap and a steel nut, help prevent wheel runoff crashes and customers like the look of shiny chrome better than dull gray steel.

Moisture can get between the between the cap and nut and the steel begins to rust. The rust pushes against the chrome covers and enlarges them.  The Toyota service manager told me another reason for swollen lug nuts is that after many years of removing and tightening lug nuts to rotate the tires, the chrome coverings can become deformed.  “It’s not a good design,” he said.

It’s safe to drive with swollen lug nuts.  The problem is getting a lug wrench on a swollen nut to loosen and tighten it.  My Facebook friend Karen wrote that during a rainstorm, her daughter hit a curb and popped a tire.  But the flat tire couldn’t be taken off because the lug wrench wouldn’t fit on the swollen lug nuts.  The car was towed and the lug nuts were replaced.  “Not an inexpensive endeavor,” Karen wrote.

Another friend shared: “Being in the tire business, I can tell you that this is a fairly common occurrence.  Lug nuts, like everything else, are not made like they used to be.  Replacing them can be expensive.”

Thanks to the good folks at our local Toyota service department, the wheels on my van are now secure with new lug nuts. And the cost?  The story and laughing made the cost worth every cent.

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During the twelve years that I’ve taken my van to be serviced, I’ve learned the routine.  Tell the service technician the current mileage and explain any problems, and that I’ll wait.

            I look for a quiet place to read a book, make a phone call, watch people, and sometimes write notes for a column. Maybe because my dad owned a service station when I was a kid, I like the smells and feel of a car garage and dealership.

And I like the uninterrupted hour – unless there’s a repair needed and then the service tech explains what needs to be done.  I’m not completely ignorant of vehicle terms. Dad allowed me to drive alone only after I could change a tire and check the oil, and he told me about anti-freeze, belts, hoses, brake pads, filters, and windshield wipers. 

            Recently while getting my van serviced, Bryan, the service tech, found me in a corner of the sales department.  He noticed air pods in my ears and spoke quietly: “Don’t get off the phone. This’ll just take a minute.”  Bryan moved a chair close to mine, sat down, leaned forward, and put his elbows on his knees.

“We can’t rotate your tires today because you’ve got swollen lug nuts.”

Rotate tires, I understood. 

Swollen lug nuts, I didn’t.   

I told my friend on the phone that I’d call back.  I frowned and said, “Okay.”

“So, your lug nuts are swollen and if we take then off, we probably can’t get them back on the wheels.”

When Dad taught me to change a tire, I’m sure he told me to use a lug wrench to remove the lug nuts, and that’s probably the last time I’ve heard the words lug nuts. 

“Okay,” I said.

“So, all four tires have swollen lug nuts. We don’t have that many. I’ll have to order them.” 

“Okay.” I tried to get a mental picture of a swollen lug nut. 

“That’s the cost to order them.” Bryan circled a dollar amount on a paper clipped to his clipboard.

“Okay,” I said for the fourth time.

“Well, you might check the cost somewhere or discuss it with someone. Driving with swollen lug nuts for a while isn’t a problem.”

 “So, you’re saying I might want to discuss with my husband about ordering lug nuts somewhere?”  I asked.  Bryan nodded.

Husband was leaving our house just as I got home.  “Wait,” I said. “I didn’t get the tires rotated because the van has swollen lug nuts.”  He raised his eyebrows, grinned, but didn’t laugh out loud.   

The next day Husband told me that he and our 18-year-old Grand, a car guy, had laughed and that he’d said, “Surely your gran didn’t hear right and misunderstood.” 

            But Husband googled swollen lug nuts and then called Bryan to ask, “What’s the problem with

the tires?”  Husband admitted that I’d heard correctly.

No matter the cost to replace my van’s lug nuts, it’s worth every penny.  Who else has a story about swollen lug nuts?

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